Changing Perspectives on Marriage Paper
Family-based on monogamous marriage has become a “cell of society” thanks to the two main reasons. The first reason is well known, in a nutshell, it sounds like: efforts of one person (female) are not enough for the normal growth and even childbearing, the child grows up and develops for a very long time. Thus, for a female, it is highly desirable to have a help of the child’s father. The second reason, as a rule, attracts less attention; however, it is also important. The marriage union is a trade-off between human hypersexuality, i.e. the need of a person to have sex constantly and regularly, and the need to deal with some other things not related to sex, plus society’s “sexual balance” should be kept. Nowadays, in fact, marriage is going through historical, painful for many people evolution.
The research showed that the absolute majority of the latest news, concerning changing perspectives on marriage, are dedicated to gay marriages. All the newspapers are full of the articles screaming about the protest of gay people for or against the gay marriage, as well as the new commentaries concerning new “gay” laws. However, this research paper was dedicated to traditional marriage, its present situation and possible changes in the future. The research showed that currently, the United States of America feels the decadence of the marriage institution. Jessica Bennett and Jesse Ellison in their article “I don’t. The case against marriage” (2010) tells us that the modern woman does not have a necessity to be married. They argue that in the previous century women strived to get married to be financially stable and to have children in the marriage. The modern policy provides high salaries, medical insurance and all necessary things for women to be independent. Thus, according to Bennett and Ellison (2010), there is no reason to get married. This thought is supported by Frieda Klotz (2012), who discusses the necessity of the marriage because of the independence of women and the “advertising” of benefits to live along in apartments. The author of an article “Has a marriage gotten too expensive”, Michelle Singletary (2013), claims that the marriage is too expensive pleasure for a lot of Americans. People of the working-class do not have enough money both for the wedding and for child maintenance.
Some authors consider this problem from another point of view. For example, Stephanie Coontz (2013) argues that the reason for the low rate of marriages is not in the loneliness of people. She says that modern society has a tendency to live together before the wedding (this vogue came from Australia). The author believes that it is good that people are living together before marriage because it reduces the tendency to divorce. The only effect of that fact is that people get married in the older age. Sharon Jayson (2013) argues that now, there is an almost century minimum of marriages, however, in the nearest future number of marriages will grow up. It is related to the fact that now people are getting married at an older age. More than that, Nancy Anderson (2013) sees an undeniable benefit to the marriage, which should encourage people. In the article “5 Ways love and marriage can make you wealthier”, Nancy (2012) discusses such points as more favorable conditions and opportunities for credits, the ability to increase own retirement, possible gifts without tax, etc.
Finally, some authors consider the variation in the relationship of the marriage. For example, Elizabeth Bernstein (2013) wrote about the couple, who found an interesting solution instead of the divorce. Spouses felt certain coldness towards each other after their youngest child left home. They even decided to break up because order not restricts the freedom of another person, however, they decided not to get divorced, but live separately, seeing each other, having a dinner in the certain days. This is how they live happily for 6 years.
Other authors discuss the impacts of working long hours and how it influences meeting potential partners. For instance, Tare Wiess (2007) told about some kind of new mainstream to have a “work spouse”. It means that people work together, discuss news, and show an interest in the life of another person, thus, without an intimate relationship. One may say that it is a new type of relationships, forced by the necessity to be on work all day long. Certainly, real partners can feel some kind of jealousy caused by possessiveness. Nevertheless, the author claims that these relations could not harm the marriage. At the same time, the person can feel the same depression breaking with the “work spouse”.
One more facet of the married life should be mentioned. The working parents have to ask themselves whether the money they are receiving at the full-time job cost the unpaid attention to a child. Victoria Woollaston (2013) published the research made by the Social Science Research Centre in Berlin, which showed that boys, whose fathers work more than 55 hours per week, are more likely to grow up badly behaved. This could be explained by the fact that such children are not under control after school so that they are free to do whatever they want. At the same time, the study did not show the same consequence caused by the long-working mother. Also, the girls were in such a manner affected neither by the long-working father nor mother.
However, there is one alternative between favorite work and parenting. The study published by John Bingham (2012) demonstrates that grandparents affect children much better than nurses. Grandparents not only help to save the parents’ money, they also provide care to the child as during pre-school studying, so meeting the children after school and ensuring their leisure time.
To my mind, working long hours can affect positively neither the whole family nor children. Let us imagine that parents spend 9 hours every day at work. More than 8 hours, a person needs for a healthy sleep. Then, there are left 7 hours for parents to spend time with one another as well as with children. One should not forget that these hours include household duties, time for the personal hygiene and time for the meal. It remains really not enough time for family. A couple has to spend some time together, have a dinner in order to save romantics in the relationships, as well as they want to meet friends sometimes. At the same time, in case a spouse considers himself/ herself a good parent, he/she has to check the child’s achievements in school, play with him/ her or just talk to him/ her. One may see that a person cannot manage to do everything; he/ she has always need to contribute something.
Often a person has to make a choice that allows him/ her to perform domestic duties, thus, that reduces the income of the family. One hardly should run to extremes, giving priority to work, near and dear are the most important support in a person’s life. One may try to earn money and lose family, troubled by his/ her eternal absence and inattention. In any case, the desire of open and friendly meeting the problems in the family is a very positive solution to the conflict between the work requirements and family responsibilities.
- Anderson, N. (2012). 5 Ways love and marriage can make you wealthier. Forbes.
- Bennett, J., & Ellison, J. (2010). ‘I don’t’. The case against marriage. The Daily Beast.
- Bernstein, E. (2013). The loneliness of the empty nest. The Wall Street Journal.
- Bingham, J. (2012). Grandparents ‘better than nurseries’ for young children’s development. The Telegraph.
- Coontz, S. (2013). The disestablishment of marriage. The New York Times.
- Jayson, S. (2013). U.S. marriage rates are at historic lows but may soon rebound a bit, demographers predict. USA today.
- Klotz, F. (2012). Is marriage still worth it? Forbes.
- Singletary, M. (2013). Has marriage gotten too expensive? The Washington Post.
- Weiss, T. (2007). The 9-To-5 marriage. Forbes.
- Woollaston, V. (2013). Does working long hours make you a bad father? Men who do overtime are more likely to have ‘delinquent and aggressive’ sons. The Daily Mail.
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