The process of children upbringing demands a lot of time and efforts. In addition, parents follow different types of style (authoritarian, authoritative, permissive) in it. It means that, in the situation, when, for example, the child breaks down an expensive thing, they will use different methods of influence and punishing. However, parents should remember that their behavior and treatment toward children, especially in the situation of conflict, form their characters and outlook. That is why it is very important to pay much attention to this process and always take care of children’s education at home.
In the situation, when the child breaks down an expensive thing, authoritarian parenting style will demonstrate high requirements towards children behavior. Such parents will use different methods of punishment and establish new rules and prohibitions. They want their children to behave in a certain manner and strictly follow all the demands. Moreover, they do not explain the reasons of their actions. In such families, children do not participate as active members with their own opinions and ideas. As a result, children become docile, obedient and polite. However, because of the lack of communication at home, they do not feel comfortable in the society and face some difficulties with interaction with people (Baumrind, 1991).
Authoritative parenting style is similar to the previous one, but it contains some differences. This model also includes the establishment of rules and principles for children to follow. However, the failure of rules’ following does not lead to the punishment, but to mild understanding and forgiving. It means that in the situation with breakage of an expensive thing, the parents will show the child what he or she has done wrong, and express their support and understanding by kissing, profound and kind words etc. In addition, it will be accompanied by active communication with kids and sharing ideas and opinions. As a result, children learn to respect and love their parents, and not only be afraid of them (Maccoby, 1992).
The third model is much different from the previous ones. It is called permissive or indulgent parenting style. In the situation of conflict, the parents will demonstrate the low degree of responsibility and duty. They will not establish high demands and base the process on the excessive love and permissiveness. Thus, they will not point out the child’s mistakes Moreover, they will not limit the child in anything (“We will buy the same thing tomorrow”). As a result, children become naughty and capricious. Moreover, such children possess a low degree of self-regulation and self-improvement. They are irresponsible, passive and unhappy in the adulthood.
In my own family, I am going to use authoritative parenting style. The main reason for it is that it is an effective way of children upbringing. It combines high demands with parental support and love. Children, treated in such a way, become successful, confident and responsible people.
To sum up, the upbringing of children demands careful treatment and good knowledge of human psychology. In case of conflicts, parents should be neither too demanding, nor too permissive. The most effective way is to combine strict rules with the parental love and respect. Moreover, children should play an active role in the family and be able to share their own opinions and ideas.
- Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1), 56-95.
- Maccoby, E.E. (1992). The role of parents in the socialization of children: An historical overview. Developmental Psychology, 28, 1006-1017.